Values elicitation questions are the questions you ask to find out what matters most to someone in one area of life, and in what order those things matter. The core question is simple: “What is important to you about this?” The skill lies in what comes after it, the follow-up questions that keep the list going, check whether an answer is really a value, and then rank the values against each other. Below are twenty questions sorted by stage, a step-by-step way to run them, and the mistakes that turn a good elicitation into a polite chat. If you want the model itself first, the glossary entry on values elicitation in NLP explains where it sits.
| Stage | Question | What it gets you |
|---|---|---|
| Set the context | “Which part of your life do you want to look at today?” | One clear context, because values shift between work, love and health |
| Set the context | “When you think about your work, what comes to mind first?” | A way in that does not feel like a test |
| Elicit | “What is important to you about your work?” | The first values, usually the most obvious ones |
| Elicit | “What do you need in your work to feel it is right?” | Values phrased as needs, which some people find easier |
| Elicit | “What would have to be missing for you to leave?” | Values that only show up when they are threatened |
| Expand | “And what else is important?” | The next layer. Ask it until the answers stop |
| Expand | “Think of a time your work felt completely right. What was present?” | Values tied to a real memory rather than an ideal |
| Expand | “Think of a time it felt wrong. What was missing?” | Values the person does not usually name |
| Deepen | “What does having that give you?” | The value behind a means value, for example security behind money |
| Deepen | “And what does that give you?” | An end value, the point where the answer stops changing |
| Clarify | “How do you know when you have it?” | The evidence the person uses, which tells you how to meet the value |
| Clarify | “What does freedom mean to you, in this context?” | Their meaning, not yours. Two people rarely mean the same thing by one word |
| Test | “Is that something you want, or something you think you should want?” | Separates owned values from borrowed ones |
| Test | “If nobody ever saw it, would it still matter?” | Filters out values that are really about approval |
| Rank | “If you could have security but not freedom, or freedom but not security, which would you take?” | The priority between two values |
| Rank | “Which one would you give up last?” | A quick check on the top value |
| Rank | “Looking at the list in this order, does it feel true?” | A gut check on the whole hierarchy |
| Use | “Where is your current work meeting your top two values?” | The fit between the hierarchy and real life |
| Use | “Where is it going against them?” | The source of most restlessness |
| Use | “What is one change that would honour the top value more?” | A first step that comes from the person, not from you |
How do you run a values elicitation with these questions?
You run it in one context at a time, collect the values in the person’s own words, and only rank them once the list is complete. A full elicitation takes twenty to forty minutes. Rushing the list is the most common reason the ranking later feels wrong.
- Name the context. Career, a relationship, health, money. Someone who values adventure on holiday may rank stability first at work, and mixing the two gives you a list that fits neither.
- Ask the core question and write down the exact words. If they say “respect”, write respect, not “being valued”. Their word carries their meaning.
- Keep asking “what else?” Most people give three or four values quickly, then pause. The pause is not the end. The values that arrive after it are often the ones that drive the big decisions.
- Use the memory questions when the list dries up. A time it felt right and a time it felt wrong will usually add two or three more.
- Deepen the vague or practical answers. Money, a title and a nice office are usually means to something else. Ask what having them gives the person until the answer stops changing.
- Test each value. Cross out anything that turns out to be a “should” the person does not actually feel.
- Rank by comparing pairs. Then read the finished order back and ask whether it feels true. If it does not, something is missing from the list, so go back to step three.
How do you rank values once you have the list?
You rank them by comparing two at a time and asking which one the person would keep if they could only have one. Asking someone to sort eight values in their head rarely works, because every value feels important when you look at it on its own.
Take a simple list for the context of work: freedom, security, learning, recognition and good colleagues. Start with the first two. “If you could have freedom but not security, or security but not freedom, which would you choose?” Whichever wins moves on and meets learning, and so on down the list. Five values need at most ten comparisons, which takes about five minutes. Write each result down as you go, because people often surprise themselves by the third comparison and want to argue with the first one.
The order matters more than the list. Two people who both value freedom and security will make very different career choices if they rank them the other way round. That is also why values work links so closely to the logical levels: values sit above behaviour and skills, so a change made at the level of a value tends to reorganise the decisions underneath it. If you want to see that in action, the logical levels exercise walks through the levels one step at a time.
What counts as a value, and what does not?
A value is usually an abstract noun you cannot put in a wheelbarrow: freedom, trust, growth, fairness, peace. If the answer is a thing, a person or an activity, it is almost always a way of getting a value rather than the value itself.
NLP trainers often call these means values and end values. “A higher salary” is a means value. Ask what it gives the person and you might hear “security”, or “freedom to choose”, or “proof that I am good at what I do”. Those are three different end values, and each one would lead to very different advice. Stopping at the salary would have hidden all three.
Watch for two other answers that look like values but are not. The first is a rule, often with “should” or “must” in it: “people should be on time.” There is a value underneath (respect, perhaps, or reliability), and a rule is simply how the person checks whether it is being met. The second is a negative: “no stress.” Ask what the person wants instead, because a value you move towards gives you far more to work with than one you only try to escape.
Which mistakes make values elicitation questions useless?
The biggest mistake is offering your own words. The moment you say “so it sounds like connection matters to you”, the person has to choose between agreeing with you and correcting you, and most people agree. You now have your value on their list.
In a training room, the second mistake shows up in almost every first round of practice: asking “why?”. “Why is freedom important to you?” sounds like the same question as “what does freedom give you?”, but it lands differently. “Why” asks for a justification, so people start defending the value instead of exploring it, and the answers get shorter and more careful. “What does that give you” asks them to look further, and the answers get longer. The third mistake is jumping to advice as soon as the ranking is done. The ranking is useful on its own. Give the person a minute with it before anyone says what they should change.
Carolin Mallmann, Licensed Trainer of The Society of NLP, Lisbon
These questions are among the first things a coach reaches for when a client says they feel stuck but cannot say why. If you want to use them with clients rather than only on yourself, NLP coaching in Lisbon shows how values work fits into a full session.
What does research say about personal values?
Research outside NLP supports the basic idea that people hold a small set of values in a priority order, and that the order shapes their choices. It does not test the NLP elicitation process as such, and it is fair to say so.
Milton Rokeach set out the idea of a ranked value system in The Nature of Human Values (1973), and his value survey asked people to put eighteen values in order rather than rate each one separately. Shalom Schwartz later developed a theory of basic human values (1992), tested across dozens of countries, in which values such as security and self-direction pull against each other. That tension is exactly what the pairwise ranking step brings to the surface. Inside NLP, Tad James and Wyatt Woodsmall described values elicitation in Time Line Therapy and the Basis of Personality (1988). What is missing is controlled research on whether this particular sequence of questions produces better decisions than, say, a questionnaire. Treat the questions as a structured conversation that you check against the person’s reaction, not as a measurement.
One limit is worth stating plainly. A clash between two top values can sit behind a painful situation, a marriage or a job someone cannot leave. Values work complements professional care and does not replace it, and when the conversation touches depression or a crisis, the right step is a referral.
Frequently asked questions
What is the best values elicitation question to start with?
“What is important to you about [context]?” It is open, it does not suggest an answer, and it works in any area of life. Everything else in the process is a follow-up to this one question.
How many values should a values elicitation produce?
Usually between six and ten for one context. Fewer than five often means the “what else?” question was not asked enough. More than twelve usually means some answers are means values that need deepening, or that two contexts have been mixed.
Can I do a values elicitation on myself?
Yes, and writing it down helps a lot. Answer the questions on paper, one context at a time, then do the pairwise ranking with each value on its own card. The main risk is writing the values you think you should have, so use the “want or should” test on every answer.
Do values change over time?
The list tends to stay fairly stable, while the order can shift with life events such as a new child, an illness or a move abroad. It is worth repeating an elicitation every year or two, and whenever a decision feels harder than it should.
What is the difference between values and beliefs in NLP?
A value is what matters to you, such as fairness. A belief is what you hold to be true, such as “people who work hard get rewarded”. Beliefs often explain how you think a value can be met, which is why a limiting belief can block a value you care about deeply.
Keep exploring
- Finding the logical level that is stuck, for seeing where values sit between identity and everyday behaviour.
- Sleight of Mouth examples aimed at one belief, for what to do when a belief stands between a person and their top value.
Carolin Mallmann is a Licensed Trainer of The Society of NLP, trained by Richard Bandler. She has trained more than 300 people and runs English-language NLP trainings in Lisbon, in groups of no more than 10.
Practise values questions on the 7-day NLP Practitioner training in Lisbon
